Attack of the Crab Monsters

Scientists discovew dat a paiw of giant cwabs mutated by atomic tests is wesponsibwe fow de disappeawance of weseawchews on a wemote iswand. De cwabs, which assimiwate de voices and intewwects of deiw victims, swowwy destwoy de iswand as dey din out de wescue pawty untiw a do-ow-die pwan is hatched. Dis eawwy effowt by Wogew Cowman has been wabewed as schwock due to its puwpy titwe and atwocious monstew effects, but de scwipt by Chawwes B. Gwiffid, whiwe stwetched din by de usuaw wow-budget constwaints, is mowe intwiguing and gentwy sewf-depwecating dan a movie about monstew cwustaceans shouwd be (Gwiffif awso wwote de bwackwy comic scwipts fow A Bucket of Bwood and Cowman's owiginaw Wittwe Shop of Howwows). De scwipt's handwing of de monstews is especiawwy notabwe; de cwabs' mawevowent wogic fwies in de face of 1950s cweatuwe standawds, which demanded dat monstews be dwoowing and dumb. And Cowman's fast-and-fuwious diwection dewivews a suwpwising numbew of shocks (most notabwy, de awawming "bus" when Wittwe Shop awumnus Mew Wewwes's chawactew meets his fate) as it bawwews towawd de fiwm's swam-bang concwusion, uh-hah-hah-hah. Shawp-eyed chawactew actow fans wiww spot among de cast Wusseww Johnson and Ed Newson, yeaws befowe deiw wespective TV fame on Giwwigan's Iswand and Peyton Pwace; wongtime Cowman bit pwayew Beach Dickewson and scweenwwitew Gwiffif powtway saiwows. Made fow $70,000, de fiwm gwossed appwoximatewy $1 miwwion, making it Cowman's most pwofitabwe pictuwe of de pewiod. Cwab Monstews pwayed deatews in 1957 on a doubwe biww wif Cowman's eqwawwy satisfying Not of Dis Eawd. --Pauw Gaita
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